Scribbled Words : When Words Matter

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                                                  There is no starting point or ending point. They say love is paradox, is it. You don’t truly know how it happens, and why it happens. Traditionally people describe with character of hyper happiness like you may laugh for no reasons, start singing, feel satisfaction and millions other reasons. Nevertheless, it might be best feeling for everyone on contrary if you can feel it. People define love in zillion ways. I am no poet to write poem on it, no writer to write a novel on it, no singer to sing a song, I am just layman who scribbles and stumbles on words.

                                 For me it is something which gives strength, a hope that better days with better person will come, a companionship to rely upon and a shoulder to cry upon. Is this what all think? I wonder how people make promise to bring star even when they cannot behold rolling tears. Its irony people do not value to word, just mere forsaken word and false hope. It’s hard to imagine world without pain and sorrow, how good it would have been to see all people happy and satisfied. But reality is different the world is not always sunshine or nasty place, it’s like two sides of coin light and darkness. For being in relation is about ignoring darkness of people and seeing brighter part. It’s not about finding reason to quit rather searching reasons to stick in. You never know what comes ahead, so enjoy your present with whom you are. It’s easy to see dark in light but hard to find light on dark.

                          Your choice is all you have got. At some time at some point you need to have guts to believe in something whether it’s your intuition or Karma or any and trust you are on right path.  At first everything is uncertain…when you carry on…dots get connected…..

Photo Source:All Things Fadra.com

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Small World : Big Dream

                         Have you ever felt so lonely and desperate you forgot your own existence. You are over drive of your consciousness. You are blind on broad day light. Your face is sadden, engulfed with past memory and fear of future. Your foots are numb, soul has departed body only remains of physical meat that resembles nothing but void inside void. The person who you cared seems distant apart, only closely tied manacles hold your hands and legs tied so much you cannot escape your past and anxiety of future brings you goosebumps.

                Life has not been so hard for you but it is now. Out of sudden your hope which guided you throughout life seems distance far above horizon. There you are in midst of winter bare, desolate, naked in icy cold evening but you do not feel a thing. You are burned inside out. Your hopes could not shape into reality, your dreams just were good enough to be dream, love even you could not get near to it, only gloomy thoughts and fear of loneliness hurts you. You are so afraid of being abused you stop being you. You are afraid people will use you, exploit when they need and trash you to rotten land where none believes and respect you. Look what you have made of yourself where is your dignity, where is your individuality. You are running away from yourself, when you will understand you need to fight for what you believe. Every thing is temporary when you will understand this, once you used to believe in self, you are the person who taught and talked with us about “ Hope”, today you are one who needs it much then entire world. Leave it if entire world is burning today, but don’t let external fire destroy you.

              The fire inside you is burning with greater flame then outside. Do not dare to extinguish it, give direction, give wings to your dream. You are one who’s dream makes this world smaller, you are one whose thoughts does time travel. Do not let inner vibes to get eroded. Life ain’t sunshine always, you need to go on other side of world face challenges, learn things, let go of people who drag you. Believe it or not those person who were not with you in hard times do not deserve to be with you in your good times. Be right, do not stay back let whole world know you are determined and motivated enough even odds are against you, you need to pull all your strength and hit it hard. This is called living. To tell story you should be good enough to make a one.

                                       Cheers. Live and Let other do the same.

The Dilemma : To Build Or Not To

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                               The Gorkha/Nepal earthquake 2015 remained one of devastating natural calamities country ever faced. Its irony in seismically volatile country like Nepal to remain responsive and readiness for such disasters. Not only earthquake shook our hope and aspiration but fell our homes, institutions and heritages down. The western and central regions of Nepal were most affected regions due to earthquake. The temporary shelters were built for providing shelter for people as seismic activities continues. They have passed scorching sun of summer, chilling winters and again they are exposed to rainy season.

                                              With no proper shelter, sanitation, strong waves of wind how will they be able to cope with limited foods and basic utilities. They are in great dilemma whether to built permanent housing as they fear buildings permanent houses in such seismically active time will result in weak foundation. The fear is still among them, there is no proper presence of government, people believe that government is only looking after so call high class people of villages and squandering budget in high level meet ups in city. While true affected people are suffering, their woes and pain are higher.

                      The feeling of lawlessness is increasing among local people in affected regions. While government is busy on data collection, assessment of it, finding actual proof of devastation in ground level, further strategy, bringing Re-construction authority in full shape. The other side feel desolated and isolated from mainstream. The helping and distribution of relief works is being heavily politicized creating very biased relief works. While billion dollar pledges from various donors still lies in limbo. The awards of best finance ministership gained by then ministership having being assured is slowly going o vain.

                            While we are discussing about potential solution, government being guardian of country should make its presence felt. This is time for government to step in to gain trust and credibility that it stands there for public welfare. The past experience suggest a very different track as of embezzlement and corruption that our leaders, bureaucrats and official are popular. The need of hour is honest and accountable head of Re-Construction Authority who can independently work for goodwill of people without any personal vendetta and biasses.

                             About technicality of building house it is only safe to built house once seismic activities are out of radar. But there has to be arrangement of other facilities so people feel comfortable in existing houses. Like proper sanitation as I see most of house are not equipped with proper toilets. They are improperly build up. Once rainy seasons starts there might be outbreak of water borne diseases as people are residing closely with each other. The supply of pure drinking water should be arranged beforehand. The frequent shocks and tremor has loosened lands bonding, as volatility of landslides and erosion will be higher.

                             Instead of carrying relief with great fanfare once tragedy hits it. Its better to equip them beforehand. There should be emergency unit for readiness and response in such fragile area. The proper planning, surveying and data study should be done for better results. Thus we can create a resilience, responsive and readiness community.

Photo Source: Nepali Times

Perspective of Housing and Buildings Before and After Nepal Earthquake 2015

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                       The Gorkha-Nepal earthquake 2015 with magnitude of 7.5 brought tremendous loss of life and property across 17 districts. Many buildings (specially heritage sites) could not bear tremor of earthquake, finally crumbled in mean time lots of structure are structurally damaged and potentially posses threat to live in. The major reasons of damages so far distinguished as far as my knowledge.

♦ What was Behind

• Structural Defects

            We have lots of civil engineer and construction experts produced annually within country and from various foreign country still we lack environment to utilize knowledge and expertise to use in practice. We lack good housing and building design ethics, consciousness among house builders. The trend of consulting contractors and suppliers is more than engineers by customers/clients.

• Introspection of rules, policies, codes, inspections, priorities

           Absence if present corrupt governmental bodies carryout inspections and implement rules, policies, codes on ground level. There is huge gap in design submission on departments and building different is common habit of people in Nepal. Initially they build house of multiple storeyed houses later compensate by paying fine or bribing government officials.

• Absence of consciousness and thoughtfulness in people

              People want to build house in short duration with minimum investment. The gap in engineering values while building houses are still lagging far behind people’s perception. They prefer for early maintenance rather making investment for long run. Narrow constrained mindset of people had to pay huge loss of life and property.

• Improper use of residential house for housing for commercial purpose

           There is general confusion about proper use of availability of space of house. Many buildings built for residential purpose have been used for commercial purpose. The continuos loads on beam and column makes foundation of building built for resident if used for commercial purpose. There are several cases of building collapse by this reason.

• Inadequate innovation to adapt into Nepali (local) Culture

            We do not have engineeringly inbuilt values in our traditional way of building house. The heritage sites mostly have aesthestic values but lagged in terms of strength and shock absorption. There should be integration of engineering knowledge into Nepali cultural and traditional way of buildings monuments and heritages.

• Faulty and Low Standard raw materials

            The use of faulty and low standard of materials for construction. People seek advice from builders for using materials rather engineers.We do not follow regulated and standard materials for construction. Our using pattern depends on availability rather than necessity.

• Gaps and Mismanagement in use of Expertise

                We have ignored use of experts views and limited engineering values just into listening. We have become experts of our own and start giving advice free of cost on random topic about building houses. Probably “little knowledge is dangerous” has been true in some sense to us. So lets stop acting like if we know everything, stop giving view and start listening to something too.

♦ What Has To Be Ahead

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• Effective implementation of 4R’s

            The most difficultly is of recognizing what we have to do with faulty buildings. This is not only headache for common people but for expertise too.So lets explore option which normally expert or techie people prefer to do.

• Repair

          This is done when building has some limited damages on outer surfaces and only after confirmation of no structural damages.

• Re-construction

          This is done when building has suffered trivial structural damages but still standing. There has been damages of particular beam or column so only those required are constructed.

• Re-Building

           This is done on absolute structural damages. If the building is tilted, crumbled, standing with support, even standing but foundation is beyond re-construction. The debris are removed and it undergoes similar process of building new house.

• Retrofitting

              This is process of supporting column and beam with extra reinforcement of steel and concrete. For carrying out this process analysis of stress, loads and forces are evaluated on various parts of building. It requires highly expert team of engineer and sophiscated technology which makes it lot more costly.

• Geo-Technical studies of Construction Sites

            We did not have any rules and regulation for studying strength of construction sites except for commercial buildings but we need this technique for residential houses too. The earthquake showed some are more prone to earthquake while some at least less. So geo-technical study provides information whether specific area can hold load of house being built. According to survey we can decide what type of building we can built in what kind of area.

• Regulated designs and evaluations

            The technology is fast evolving so is innovation in building design. We have efficient design enough to earthquake resistive. The challenges lies on implementation and evaluations of such design practices. This initiation of adopting technology, design should not be limited but followed for coming period.

• Innovative and Earthquake Resistance Building

           We have various housing system from village to cities. So it will be hard to completely adopt design given by others what requires is our own innovation which will keep our cultural and social values en-tact with housing system. Rather depending on their designs we can lend hand to modify and purify ours ways.

• Appropriate use of Engineering Values, ethics, codes and Expertise

         We need to implement engineering values, ethics, codes and experts in fields. Lets us not limit our manpower in office but wisely use them in field for construction.

• Quality and Standard Raw Materials

          There should be regulatory body to look after quality standard of raw materials. Proper implementation of procedures for manufacturing, traveling, inventory, delivering and using should be done. The use of proper materials only strengthen foundation and longivity of building life.

• Raising Awareness and Consciousness about housing in general people

           People must be aware about housing in general. They must recognize that cost is not only final things that has to matter in judging housing system. The focus on cost should shift to durability and sustainability. The earthquake have shook us all and we have learnt from it much. Hope this will be lesson for us so we can build safe houses for future.

                           The trend on housing is shifting slowly. Hope the process keeps on purifying better alternative will come out regarding building innovation not only in urban areas but also in rural parts of Nepal. We need to enter into new era of Housing Design and Resilent Buildings for Naya Nepal.

Beyond Black : An artist will to paint the canvass black

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            Color gives sense to life. Can you imagine how dull would be life without presence of color. Color is not only part of professionalism or reflection of feelings emotion understanding on canvass by painter but individualism.We can judge personality of person by choice of colors s/he uses. There are myriad of colors whose visualization can be done if we really see beyond horizon of imagination.`

                If we talk about preference of my choice of color on canvas then it would be black. Many would surprise to hear as black in general conception is often considered as reflector of dark or evil side of life. Black is synonymous to fear and hatred of any individual.In life true winner are those who wins themselves rather than others. Ego centrism is major problem these days, I am good and my deeds are greater than others, I am the centre of world.My painting would be painted black not for reason I am in love with dark side of life but as a message we can overcome evil or dark oneself.

               There is no shortcut in life if there is it won’t last to achieve long-term happiness or success. Although you may be able to run away from hatred or evil but there is no permanent escape except collecting guts and facing it. what does not kills you makes  you stronger. Its better to conquer fear rather to cultivate and ripe it. You never become wise and old if you were not young and wild.

                Black has been myth for us. We are chasing imaginary ladder of wisdom without realizing that evil resides underside our bed. We are running from our paradigm and nurturing fear of darkness. But as white is not entirely white so is black not completely black. There is light hidden within just we need courage and will power to channelized it. we can’t always keep speaking if we can’t act our progress is void. So I want to channelized black as warrior of color but no worrier. We ran like coward away from dark now its time to engulf black within ourself and show vision to mission. Every black has demon but every demon has little left goodness I want to portrait that through my color in canvas. Every one has dark side but always within dark there is hope with hope there is progress for attainment of self-respect and humanity.

             Thus black remains only black if we perceive it as black. Anyone can see good on good but it requires brilliance to see good on bad, opportunity on loss, hope on tragedy, love on hatred,belief on future.

Date:13/05/2015

Me as Myself

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                                                  I am an ordinary person but with extra ordinary dream for accomplishment in life. Life has been a roller coaster for me. I do not know why my life resembles to the nature of roller coaster as I move with great speed of life, sometime up and down. Its taking chances falling over and getting up again: it’s wanting to get the very top of myself and feeling angry and dissatisfied when i do not manage it. Just taking first step in faith and not knowing whole staircase, just stepping first step for beginning making each day master piece. My life has no limitation and I afraid others making me walk when i want to fly believing tough times never last but being tough people do. Since greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising up every time we fail making life a mission definitely not intermission. This is me with broken dreams, losing battles of life, suffering several pain but with stamina to fight ahead as difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. This is my life a unique unfinished puzzle to which all of the pieces have yet to be found. As I grow and undergo new experience I discover new facets to my personality. Change is inevitable one things that is permanent is change. So these are images which I find staying in front of mirror. A person with lots of mystery and unfinished questions about life. This is me as myself.